jezombie

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33 years-old
Sunday 02 August 1992
Not specified

A propos de Jezombie

I usually just visit this app on my breaks at work or when I'm super bored.

Jezombie - Followers

Jezombie - Followed

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Jezombie's favorite FMLs

By Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

agreeclassic 44 011

vote type 1 18 463

Judgemental

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

agreeclassic 57 543

vote type 1 7 849

By Anonymous - 26/05/2014 11:37 - United Kingdom - Wolverhampton

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

agreeclassic 51 541

vote type 1 5 872

By see you next cunt - 18/03/2014 19:44 - United States

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

agreeclassic 59 987

vote type 1 5 135

By emmaavk88 - 17/03/2014 12:15 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

agreeclassic 39 579

vote type 1 9 753

emmaavk88 app_comment_confession_title

emmaavk88 18

lundi 17 mars 2014 18:59

If that was true, double F my life! Luckily he isn't, I made sure of that -OP