cookiesFTW

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31 years-old
Wednesday 08 June 1994
single

A propos de Cookiesftw

Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else. Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

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Cookiesftw's favorite FMLs

Avoidance

By Kelavmeister - 17/04/2009 01:16 - United States

Today, I was driving home from school when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. My offer was rejected as she said, "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway. My driveway. FML

agreeclassic 87 232

vote type 1 7 018

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 10:05 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

agreeclassic 36 200

vote type 1 5 308

By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

agreeclassic 35 224

vote type 1 3 024

By :O - 05/04/2015 22:19 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

agreeclassic 32 672

vote type 1 2 634

By Insanity - 09/04/2015 05:28 - France - La Poste

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

agreeclassic 498

vote type 1 151