blossomwillow

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Blossomwillow's favorite FMLs

Angry little kid

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

agreeclassic 33 966

vote type 1 3 556

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

agreeclassic 44 352

vote type 1 15 626

By Anonymous - 02/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

agreeclassic 39 080

vote type 1 17 897

Got something for you

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 21:48 - United States

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

agreeclassic 18 176

vote type 1 40 919

No way

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 18:41 - United States - Downey

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

agreeclassic 30 880

vote type 1 58 906