Penelope1993

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Penelope1993's favorite FMLs

By anonymous - 27/02/2010 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

agreeclassic 30 590

vote type 1 3 119

By vagina dentata for christmas, pls - 25/01/2013 18:51 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

agreeclassic 35 786

vote type 1 5 052

By Anonymous - 21/01/2013 17:04 - United States

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

agreeclassic 37 879

vote type 1 8 323

By ICantBelieveThis - 06/03/2010 14:31 - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

agreeclassic 35 403

vote type 1 8 955

By RustyGuy - 05/03/2010 18:31 - Canada

Today, while in bed, my nose became runny. Being as tired as I was, I decided to ignore it until the morning. Turns out it was a nose bleed, and my pillowcase is ruined. FML

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vote type 1 28 545

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RustyGuy 0

samedi 6 mars 2010 2:03

To add to the details: 1) The Pillowcase is part of a full set, so if I can't manage to get the blood out... and anyone who has tried removing dried blood knows its friggen hard... It's going to be very hard to find a matching replacement. 2) The reason I was so tired is because I'm an animation student at BCIT, and am working my ass off to finish my demoreel on time. I haven't had a proper nights sleep in quite some time. Still; i probably should have grabbed a tissue.