EASTERN420G

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33 years-old
Wednesday 15 July 1992
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Eastern420g's favorite FMLs

By coughandcold - 27/03/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 189 781

vote type 1 37 885

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

agreeclassic 10 289

vote type 1 79 749

But… why?

By Fmylife - 06/07/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

agreeclassic 9 264

vote type 1 121 022

Wrong place

By anonymous - 05/07/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

agreeclassic 11 717

vote type 1 74 132

Bad idea

By Stacy - 05/07/2011 04:04 - United States

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

agreeclassic 36 967

vote type 1 8 464