itsmichellebitch

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I'mnotadinosaur, I'm A Fucking Unicorn.
25 years-old
Saturday 25 December 1999
couple

A propos de Itsmichellebitch

Rawr. I'm a dinosaur. Just kidding I'm a unicorn. You can message me if you wanna. Music is my life. I would literally die without it. I kinda love Bruno Mars. I love singing and acting. Takenn! Well that's it I guess. Byee.

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Itsmichellebitch's favorite FMLs

By clop clop clopping all the way - 20/06/2013 21:13 - United States

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

agreeclassic 51 474

vote type 1 3 987

Tasty

By SillyScotsman - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Hamilton

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

agreeclassic 52 653

vote type 1 7 710

By Anonymous - 24/06/2013 18:39 - Canada - Victoria

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

agreeclassic 60 921

vote type 1 5 041

By Anonymous - 24/06/2013 16:41 - Belgium

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

agreeclassic 52 731

vote type 1 15 308

By Coolios - 24/06/2013 14:16 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

agreeclassic 63 896

vote type 1 3 905