NocturnalCro

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3173959, U.S.A.
44 years-old
Tuesday 17 November 1981
couple

A propos de Nocturnalcro

I rock the fuckin' house and kick some ass.

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Fucked!

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Nocturnalcro's favorite FMLs

First date from hell

By lizzardbreath - 31/03/2009 10:44 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire, so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brother's wedding, and introduced me as "The One" to his entire family. FML

agreeclassic 115 922

vote type 1 7 953

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

agreeclassic 48 531

vote type 1 8 110

By DefinitelyNotDogshit - 28/08/2013 04:06 - United States - Levittown

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

agreeclassic 49 739

vote type 1 3 680

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 08:49 - France - Paris

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

agreeclassic 53 612

vote type 1 4 256

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 08:00 - United States - Temecula

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

agreeclassic 46 992

vote type 1 6 009