dragonkyng

726

Glendale, United States of America
35
Monday 21 May 1990

Dragonkyng

Dragonkyng -

Dragonkyng

lovers5201

Valeyard

MariJ82

Dragonkyng

Run for the hills!

kringr - 06/06/2011 00:52 - United States

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

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Close but no cigar

Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

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fishtities - 13/08/2015 02:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was depressed so I went to the only bar in town. When I asked for a drink, I found out she works there as the bartender. FML

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jeudi 13 août 2015 16:53

OP here. We had been together for over a year now. Turns out she had been cheating on me for a month and decided to brake things off with me. The reason I didnt know she was the bartender there was because she was recently hired and since I dont usually go there nor did she tell me, I didnt know.

pudh - 05/08/2015 11:08 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

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pudh

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jeudi 6 août 2015 2:02

Author's comment (pu): For the record, I did not make her feel crap about it. We laughed about it for hours before posting it on FML.

18emikot - 04/08/2015 03:26 - United States - Big Lake

Today, my local USPS delivery man refused to deliver any more packages to my house, because in the past, my dogs have barked at him and he feels threatened. He also filed a complaint about our house because apparently my driveway has branches that, to him, are considered "hazardous." FML

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mardi 4 août 2015 16:02

We have a Chihauhau and a Springer. The Chihauhau rarely goes out and only has a few teeth left so I doubt she could hurt someone. Our Springer is a sweetheart, she's all bark but no bite. Whoever she goes out she wears a bark collar and the remote is always by someone's side. There are no protruding branches in our driveway. None. We trim them regularly.