umidontrember

2284

Dublin, Ireland

Umidontrember

I spelled my username wrong, I get it. No need to tell me again! So far none of my FMLs have been published, but shit things happen to me all the time so who knows? One day I'll make it up there. PERDIX VISITED ME!

Umidontrember -

Umidontrember

lovers5201

weridshit

melao

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NATACHAEV

Assume

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PerfectDud...

FlamingJaz...

EnJey0

FlamingJaz...

Umidontrember

Noname - 19/01/2009 10:26 - Canada

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

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Anonymous - 05/01/2014 05:30 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

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Little shit

scotsgal - 05/01/2014 05:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

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Anonymous - 01/06/2012 07:02 - United States

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

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Anonymous - 12/03/2010 16:55 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

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