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That's my chameleon Karma. He's a young panther chameleon who loves sitting on people's heads and is terrified of being on any type of floor. And the second picture is yours truly, NewUsername. The third picture is also me (duh) after finishing a 5k color run earlier this year.

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Hey, OP here. I'm a girl, so why FML listed me as a guy...I have no idea. Anyway, I'm here to clear some things up. Why we drove so far to see them was because we're both in college and we don't get to see my parents or each other often. My parents and I went out there to celebrate their engagment because we probably won't be able to see them until maybe July, and they had already been engaged a month before we drove there to buy them dinner in March. It didn't bother us so much that they got married without telling us, it's that they lied and egged us on, and had his wife tell my dad through text. They promised they are going to have a ceremony sometime in the next 5 years, but they asked us not to tell the rest of they family they're already married. So now, we're lying to the rest of our excited, curious family. We weren't there to plan anything, the topic just came up during dinner, since well, we were celebrating an engagement. We figured they married for financial aid and tax purposes (given they're both in college and are barely getting by) which is fine by us. They had already been living together for a few years and moved across the state together, so it's not like them eloping was unexpected. We just don't know why they felt they had to lie when they had the chance to discreetly pull one of us to the side and tell us in person the day before. Sorry for the book, but I hope that clears some things up!

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Hi guys, OP here! Now that I have more space I'll explain a bit more. I was with my friend and she had left a bit earlier to get snacks and the man moved for her. When I left about 10 minutes later (I asked the woman next to me to please save our seats) the movie theater was really crowded. My friend and I were about 6 seats from the edge, so not too many people had to shift out of our way thankfully. Of course, as in the FML, I tripped and accidently fell on top of him, and he made his comment. Anyway, I brushed it off, taking it as a joke, and went about my day. After I used the restroom, I met my friend as she was heading back into the theater and I told her what happened. She called him a creep but didn't think anything of it either. Since she was holding the giant popcorn I let her go in front of me and the man on the end moved for her. When I went to go by, he moved back to where he was, blocking my way once again. As I stood in the walkway, I nicely asked him to move but he only laughed. "Nah, climb over me again. It was fun last time." That's when he pissed me off and I pushed his legs out of the way to force my way by. He just laughed and watched me as I walked back to my seat. Certainly not the worst thing to ever happen, but still quite an uncomfortable situation to be in!