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fallensky916

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澳门威尼斯人特邀【1...

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offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

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Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

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Pretend

Anonymous - 01/09/2013 16:34 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

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Unexpected arousal

Anonymous - 20/08/2013 22:46 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

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ANON - 13/08/2013 23:53 - United States - Sacramento

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

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