11niko - 02/02/2012 04:57 - United States Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butthole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML 24 092 7 026
Anonymous - 01/02/2012 15:01 - United States Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML 62 653 4 853
Thanks, Mr Whiskers Anonymous - 01/02/2012 06:13 - Canada Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML 29 894 5 990