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holycommander - 26/03/2013 20:20 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

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Urgghh - 16/05/2013 21:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

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need € for new iron - 16/05/2013 19:49 - Germany - Gevelsberg

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

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asdffhhjk - 15/05/2013 08:08 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

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Liferuinedforever - 14/05/2013 07:13 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

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