ukeandfoodislife

107

3932

somewhere, in the UK
28
Thursday 15 May 1997

Ukeandfoodislife

Welcome to my profile! If you click that Fuck button, I'll return the favor ☺️

Ukeandfoodislife -

alain4343

Ukeandfoodislife -

Ukeandfoodislife

lovers5201

anigroeg

Karina

BrettBaseb...

mp2792

Marie1994

Ashamed_Si...

secretman8...

ksh_fml

gaylo

ellbell

kenzie6777

thundercro...

jonah777

TheInvisib...

qwertydude...

ginnyboo

beeferjay

the_panda

Timpa70

apineapple

fmlnjd2013

Deadpool47

looking4fu...

Ukeandfoodislife

I_Am_The_Edge - 11/06/2009 16:06 - United States

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

163

2 768

wtf did he do - 19/07/2015 09:02 - United States - Anchorage

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

29 909

2 278

Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

36 299

5 029

padthaimeanoose - 19/07/2015 03:29 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

30 969

2 464

Sorry sweetie

ddhaley1 - - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

24 816

3 335