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armedenglish96

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Friday 21 June 1996

Armedenglish96

Armedenglish96 -

Armedenglish96 -

Armedenglish96

lovers5201

Isabelle19...

Cali

samoo1

hijk

pfccavanau...

michaelm12...

Yapiej

happypengu...

delilablue...

CursedOne

PaigeLeeAn...

Cali

Yapiej

delilablue...

CursedOne

karacakal2

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Armedenglish96

Armedenglish96

Classic

Noname - 24/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

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Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

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Skill issue

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

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Anonymous - 16/10/2015 08:39 - Australia

Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML

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Anonymous - 03/10/2015 07:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

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