johnlockshipper

2138

140

Paris, France
26
Friday 08 January 1999

Johnlockshipper

Mulder it's me

Johnlockshipper -

Johnlockshipper

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Johnlockshipper

Anonymous - 20/07/2013 15:45 - United States - Newark

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

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ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

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thanks, Nemo. - 11/07/2013 23:13 - United States - Hayward

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

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Like a virgin

JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

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vrossie_ - 08/09/2013 05:56 - United States

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

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vrossie_

vrossie_ 15

lundi 9 septembre 2013 21:43

Yea it was clever. I shared it to my Biology class and they all laughed.