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Saturday 28 September 1996

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Godi - 10/12/2009 19:00 - United States

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML

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Haitwun - 14/12/2015 07:29 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

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noodlesandmilk - 13/12/2015 14:10 - Australia - Canberra

Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML

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Anonymous - 13/12/2015 11:47 - Australia - Canterbury

Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse furry. FML

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Ihadnoidea - 12/12/2015 19:41 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while working at a gas station, I accidentally changed the price of gas to 8.9 cents per litre. It took me fifteen minutes to figure out why everyone wanted only two or three dollars of gas. I fixed it, but now my managers are debating charging me for lost revenue. FML

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