fishtities

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I'm a Bear, Narnia

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I like big ducks and I cannot lie.

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lovers5201

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Fishtities

sm@rtie - 03/01/2009 08:38 - France

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

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Squits

fishtities - 07/04/2016 04:56 - United States - Dallas

Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML

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Anonymous - 11/03/2016 22:09 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML

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Sir Anon - 29/02/2016 20:18 - United States - Champlin

Today, I had to leave work early as I almost passed out. My girlfriend's first question after I told her what happened was, "Did you hear Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar?" FML

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sciencenat - 14/01/2016 06:36 - France - V?lizy-villacoublay

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

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