Anonymous - 29/05/2018 01:46 Today, I found out the only way my wife has an orgasm is by fantasizing about an ex boyfriend, who she regrets never sleeping with. FML 5 741 606
Anonymous - 29/05/2018 02:33 Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML 4 569 1 009
Get help, moron! Anonymous - 29/05/2018 15:00 Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML 4 847 226
Anonymous - 30/05/2018 15:00 Today, my wife informed me that she wants a boyfriend but doesn't want a divorce. Also, apparently I'm horrible for not "respecting her feelings" when I told her she can't have both. FML 4 771 325
Baby New Year? Fiona the Deceived - 30/05/2018 19:00 Today, I found out that my birth date was entered incorrectly, and I’ve been believing that I am a year older than I really am. I’m actually 14, not 15. How did this happen? Both my parents and the doctor got the year of my birth wrong. FML 4 424 269