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allie2590

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St. Catharines
35
Tuesday 06 February 1990

Allie2590

I'm the happiest snake of all!

Allie2590 -

Allie2590 -

Allie2590

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Allie2590

Allie2590

tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

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Good one, nice

Anonymous -

Today, I found a leather book in my husband's sock drawer with "BRO CODE" on the front. It was blank except for the last page, which said, "NICE TRY SUSAN BUT EVERYONE KNOWS BRO CODE IS UNWRITTEN AND FOR GUYS ONLY". Well-played, husband. Well-played. FML

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Meganbear - 09/05/2018 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought my car into the shop because it kept picking up speed on its own and I was panicking. A mere $200 later, it turns out I didn’t put my car mat in right and it was sitting on my gas pedal. FML

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Anonymous - 17/01/2018 06:00

Today, I was walking the boardwalk when I felt a strange sensation between my legs as I sneezed. My tampon shot out like a cork and rolled to the side of my granny panties. I had to waddle like Yosemite Sam to the nearest potty. I was on a date. FML

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GGs

deerslayer559 - 27/09/2017 23:14

Today, while playing golf, I hit my ball near some tall grass along the edge of the water. Unbeknownst to me, there was an alligator hiding in the grass. He growled at me during my shot, causing me to put the ball directly into the pond. Alligator: 1 Me: 0. FML

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