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Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

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wondercat40 - 24/04/2014 21:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

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wondercat40

wondercat40 28

samedi 26 avril 2014 21:26

He just stared blankly at me as I ran off, and that's definitely not a good sign of anything! I see him at my band classes, but I haven't spoken to him since. Thank you for the comments, a lot of them made me laugh. I don't know the where the Jesus drummer's band came from either, it was a local band that I forgot the name of. However, I think it was a Christian band. Oh, the irony.

laxie - 27/10/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

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HOAs suck

Slivered - 18/11/2009 09:50 - Canada

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy, which requires pet owners to carry their dogs in common areas after someone's dog kept peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

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usmcgirl - 18/11/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

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