•
•
•

lovegirl1

0

0

0

0

231

6

32
Thursday 20 May 1993

Lovegirl1

Lovegirl1 -

Lovegirl1 -

Lovegirl1

lovers5201

Lovegirl1

Lovegirl1

yawho - 25/02/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

60 403

9 870

Noname - 25/02/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

136 025

24 466

Fountainhead

iliketurtles - 24/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

63 365

7 783

Sick - 24/02/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

54 694

6 181

shilpajayseanfan - 24/02/2009 13:43 - Canada

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

23 264

54 631