•
•
•

zoomster

0

0

0

43

3393

142

Fort Collins, United States
36
Tuesday 05 September 1989

Zoomster

Zoomster -

Zoomster -

Zoomster

lovers5201

philou2236...

noms0220

sensitiv

Akira Sque...

AndreaHoff...

KathrinLor...

sherrellel...

JamaicanSw...

BooEmz

InobodyI

TheTshirt

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

TheTshirt

Zoomster

Zoomster

demk - 20/08/2009 14:51 - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

92 864

8 055

Bubbles

soapgirl - 13/08/2009 16:07 - Philippines

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

9 436

65 074

Anonymous - 17/08/2009 22:11 - Canada

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

40 829

22 689

No kinkshaming, but come on…

esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML

75 009

8 363

Anonymous - 16/08/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

76 344

11 787