•
•
•

Oplleez

0

0

0

6

768

13

Bronx, United States
39
Saturday 08 November 1986

Oplleez

I'm awesome. My life isn't.

Oplleez -

Oplleez -

Oplleez

lovers5201

bertiebass...

DoubleSoul

McFinder

ch2358

Wiisal

thedoogler

speedydrum...

ry_ryland

slicing

Eladar

TariqX2

Oplleez

Oplleez

Noname - 05/03/2009 19:44 - Canada

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

537 858

53 227

Anonymous - 16/07/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

516

38

notinflammable - 27/06/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

11 381

128 004

badmom - 10/06/2009 18:09 - Canada

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

135 015

80 678

Anonymous - 09/06/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

85 885

5 752