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warp_routine - 31/03/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

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ggabrams - 17/08/2013 12:55 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

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dimanche 18 août 2013 6:39

He didn't give an excuse. I was laughing my ass off in the office though.

lawman - 15/08/2013 13:34 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

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kenbez123 - 14/08/2013 07:55 - Malta - Santa Venera

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

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mercredi 14 août 2013 23:10

The neighbour in question was male. No he was not naked (thank god). When he noticed me he just ran off back to his house.

Dead zone

The Corner Of Death - - United States - Spring

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

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