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Fuck_Shit_Dammit

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lovers5201

BrigitteKo...

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Butterface

khfhjfsb - 05/02/2014 00:41 - United States - Downers Grove

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

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Anonymous - 30/01/2014 12:34 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

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peepeepainter - 07/01/2014 02:25 - United States - Jasper

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

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Z3R0G5 - 06/01/2014 23:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

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STOP SCREAMING

Anonymous - 30/12/2013 12:10 - Australia - Campbelltown

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

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