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xdafuze

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Xdafuze

The third pedal separates the men from the boys.

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Anonymous - 19/04/2016 02:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML

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Noname - 22/01/2009 23:27 - Canada

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

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Anonymous - 14/02/2016 09:23 - Canada - Sechelt

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. I asked her if she wanted something to drink, and my brother reacted by snorting and calling me a "cuck". Apparently offering your girlfriend a drink means you're being cuckolded now. God, I hope he was adopted. FML

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DopeDickDover - 26/10/2015 15:50 - United States

Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML

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StormSeason - 29/10/2012 12:03 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

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