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Uglies

Noname - - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

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dvddtraveller - 22/04/2016 21:25 - United States - Oakland

Today, I went to the local clinic and I met a really cute guy. We hit it off quite well, and he asked me out. It's like The Fault in Our Stars, but instead of cancer, we have STDs. FML

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The Patriarch

Anonymous - - United States - Mentor

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

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Fishing

Veronica - - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

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Road rage gone feral

16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

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