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anonymous.. - 03/09/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

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hatemyjob - 05/11/2009 09:44 - Australia

Today, I found out that the new receptionist earns more than I do. I'm an undergraduate accountant and I've been working there for 2 years. Oh and I started out as the receptionist before I got a "promotion". FML

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Anonymous - 20/01/2010 18:21 - United States

Today, I decided to treat my yeast infection over the counter to avoid going to the doctor. Too bad I didn't read the directions. Now I have to go to the doctor to get the tip of the applicator removed. FML

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real birthday bumps - 03/01/2019 01:00 - United Kingdom - Pontefract

Today my son threw his picture book at me and gave me a shiner on my left eye. Then my husband took me to a nice restaurant for my birthday only as the waiter opened some champagne the cork flew out and hit me in the other eye which didn't bruise but has now swelled shut. Happy birthday to me FML

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