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lovers5201

Usb13254

Girl - 17/03/2010 07:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

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Anonymous - 04/03/2010 00:36 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

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Widespread - 18/11/2009 08:43 - Australia

Today, my 5 year old lactose intolerant daughter decided to have some chocolate. The result: me cleaning the bathroom walls at 3am, finishing at 4:30am, and then start cleaning again at 5am when her stomach contents decided I had missed a spot. FML

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Australian315

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jeudi 19 novembre 2009 2:37

Hi I just joined up to FML after this comment got posted (as it was mine) and i just wanted to verify some things. a) my daughter only ate chocolate because a kid at school gave her some, even though her teachers know that she cant have any dairy b) I do keep all of the dairy in our house hidden c) she only spewed at 3am because she has late reactions, eg, around 12 hours after she eats the dairy please stop saying how im a bad parent. accidents happen.

Fountainhead

iliketurtles - 24/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

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