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candy_mang

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Thursday 27 January 2000

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Marie1994

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Candy_mang

Candy_mang

Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

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nekkidness - 21/11/2012 21:06 - United States - Carthage

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

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...... - 08/10/2011 02:40 - United States

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

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FirstStringQB - 01/10/2011 22:45 - United States

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

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Anonymous - 11/07/2014 22:54 - United States - Stockton

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

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