•
•
•

xox_sandy_xox

0

0

0

3

845

17

Xox_sandy_xox

Xox_sandy_xox -

Xox_sandy_xox -

Xox_sandy_xox

lovers5201

xsarax35

Freeze_fml

diazepunxx

craigahh

tehmadness

bruff3

ilikeboys

Ineffablet...

Curtieeeez

Rawrrr14

cheer_hott...

Xox_sandy_xox

Xox_sandy_xox

offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

267 596

90 937

Bladder control

jojo - 06/05/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

61 552

12 892

Zinger!

Familyskank - 06/05/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

108 673

24 953

Catfished

Iman - - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

117 185

294 101

BARF - 27/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

27 552

130 400