vampiresam9097

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Wednesday 15 February 1995

Vampiresam9097

I LIKE DESTROYING!! Why are you even looking at this? Well, since you're here, let's sing about Pigfarts! PIGFARTS, PIGFARTS, HERE I COME! PIGFARTS, PIGFARTS, YUM YUM YUM :) Pigfarts is only the greatest wizarding school in the GALAXY! It's on Mars

Vampiresam9097 -

Vampiresam9097

lovers5201

[227694944...

fmlanch

ValVee92

CRC_101

Vampiresam9097

maxthndr - 10/02/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

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Grandma, nooooooo!

Sam - 02/12/2012 14:05 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

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kay51 - 24/11/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my roommates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

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Tymer - 23/11/2012 15:56 - Canada - Malahat

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

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nekkidness - 21/11/2012 21:06 - United States - Carthage

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

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