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MilleeMacabre - 02/04/2013 18:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

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MilleeMacabre 8

mercredi 3 avril 2013 16:12

Yes. He was drunk. That's my husband for ya.

DontGetSlapped - 18/02/2013 00:24 - United States - Conway

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

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Turdfoot - 12/02/2013 20:15 - United States - Prosper

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

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Anonymous - 11/02/2013 20:58 - United States - Raynham

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

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excusemeprincess - 11/02/2013 17:08 - United States - Middle Island

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

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excusemeprincess 11

mardi 12 février 2013 23:40

I'm the person who posted this. I just forgot to log in. Anyway, I DID kick him in his deku nuts and walk out on him. Thanks for all your hilarious comments guys. :)