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alyssa20454

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Grand Rapids, USA

Alyssa20454

I'm a girl. I'm 19. I'm in Michigan. I read, cook, and do creative stuff! I have two cats. I like dogs tho. I love duck dynasty, ridiculousness, family guy, and 1000 ways to die. I consider myself stylish. I love 80s rock. I love all kinds of music really. Penguins are amazing. And purple is a amazing color.

Alyssa20454 -

Power Rang...

Alyssa20454 -

Alyssa20454

lovers5201

skipper

Marie1994

Power Rang...

Alyssa20454

Alyssa20454

Make it your own goal

Anonymous - 13/01/2014 19:48 - United States - Maryville

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

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anon - 13/01/2014 01:53 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

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Keep it down

lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

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Anonymous - 12/01/2014 06:38 - Australia - Boondall

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

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Anonymous - 11/01/2014 18:52 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

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