•
•
•

mlc4664

0

0

7

0

823

51

Mlc4664

Mlc4664 -

Mlc4664 -

Mlc4664

lovers5201

AnnaKlein1...

pennylane6...

EmilyGheen

archnarqui...

OhWhoCares

Skulllily

patrickala...

Skulllily

patrickala...

Mlc4664

Mlc4664

Sneaky

Anonymous - - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

36 021

5 103

Anonymous - 24/03/2015 20:52 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

30 189

3 057

ctmoto77 - 24/03/2015 17:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML

30 823

3 442

Anonymous - 25/03/2015 12:23 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

35 366

2 282

ILoveLamps - 25/03/2015 06:26 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

31 264

2 886