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Anonymous - 11/05/2011 17:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

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:/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

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flattened - 10/02/2011 10:58

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

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Burglary [gone sexual]

Anonymous - 01/12/2010 05:11 - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

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Anonymous - 30/11/2010 19:10 - Ireland

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

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