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Toronto, Canada
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Wednesday 08 January 1992

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lovers5201

bigbang14

timmey

Haileybugz...

kristen730

Logan Ashl...

cinadada

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mbesameh

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swiss_army

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liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

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hater - 16/03/2010 10:55

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

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Satan - 15/03/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

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Anonymous - 15/03/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

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Keep your wits about you

Rawr - 30/12/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML

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