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Tuesday 05 September 1995

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Anonymous - 26/08/2013 20:17 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

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Sounds reasonable…

Immaculatedream - 27/07/2013 07:56 - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

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Don't shoot the messenger

........................... - - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

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I'm not paid enough for this

Anonynommer - - United States - Holyoke

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

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Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

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