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ashleyelli123

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Ashleyelli123

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Ashleyelli123

lovers5201

BirgitHerr...

Ashleyelli123

Ashleyelli123

RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

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yeah - 27/08/2010 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were role playing when her mum walked past the slightly open door, saw me, and chased me out of the house for stealing her baby's innocence. I was only wearing a red speedo. FML

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The language of love

TextsAlot - - Canada

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

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chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

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qtpieo1 - 13/08/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

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