idioticmess

1945

(insert city name here), United states
32
Tuesday 23 February 1993

Idioticmess

Idioticmess -

Idioticmess

lovers5201

ladylea

MikeMonstR...

biter2013

thundercro...

footinthem...

Rababco

BananEnigm...

Brian2911

sabby7

Woody02284

bunkiii

Idioticmess

con135 - 13/01/2015 01:16 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

39 014

10 310

con135

con135 12

mardi 13 janvier 2015 15:38

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

Anonyme - 26/09/2014 06:56 - France - Saint-di

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

554

Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

54 841

6 742

and the truth comes out - 22/07/2014 08:44 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

45 979

7 646

badluck - 21/07/2014 19:31 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

59 444

5 763