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herpaderpaherp

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Fairfax, Virginia, United States

Herpaderpaherp

Kinda made a profile after not being able to vote on comments. Lovin FML, and feel free to message me.

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Kim

madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim, and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier, I realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go, "Don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

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chocochoco - 24/03/2014 03:40 - United States - Auburn

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

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LittleArtist - 18/02/2014 01:01 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after three weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML

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Stinky pits

shakinmahbuttbutt - - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

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Dang y'all

Kayak - - United Kingdom

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

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