"cperagui" - 15/03/2019 14:00 I was masturbating while watching porn. Since I was home alone I wasn't worried about being loud. My best friend walked into my house, saw me, and he watched for a couple minutes before making his presence known by saying "nice" with a grin on his face. 1 860 618
Wingnut heathenapparently - 16/02/2019 20:00 Today, while driving me to the airport for a trip to Japan, my mother started crying. When I asked her why, she said, "I just know that if the plane crashes, I will never see you again because you are going to hell." Thank you, mom. I love you too. FML 2 808 260
karmaiguess - 18/10/2018 03:00 Today, I saw the guy I bullied during elementary school and tried to apologize to him. Instead, he took out a knife and stabbed me. I'm currently in the ER. FML 2 379 5 232
ToothHurtyAM - 18/10/2018 05:00 Today, the principal of my school asked me if I had practice. Knowing he's gullible, I said yes. I came home to find him and my mom having sex. FML 4 304 891