Zurinator

Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML

Protips

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML