soullyfe

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

Today, my husband cheated on me. In my house. While I was home. FML

Killing the mood

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML