Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML
Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML
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