Nadiaflora

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

Caught

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML