briliz19

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

Ticklish

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said, "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was, "So does yours." FML

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML