JoeET126

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

Good one, thanks

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML