Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is "heavily pregnant." I'm just fat. FML
bn2003
Mademoiselle 28 ans
Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
It's a conspiracy!
Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML
Narcissists never unite!
Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Such a cutie
Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML